A voter exercises their democratic right

…. to vote for the thing we voted for 35 months again yet still haven’t fucking received.

Why not UKIP? Because the Brexit Party has momentum and no policies other than a WTO terms exit from the EU.

The message offered by vote for that party should not be interpreted as a “low information vote” or for “we must do a deal at all costs” but an unequivocal, “just leave“.

Just do your damn job, politicians, or move aside and let someone take over who is able and prepared to.

Bill’s Opinion

Democracy is an exercise in mass self-delusion.

The moment those in power make the mistake of allowing us to see behind the curtain, they have put themselves in grave danger.

Et tu, Tony?

It’s quite amazing this took so long:

It’s an utter non-story. Don’t take my word for it though, follow the link and judge for yourself.

What’s important is that the #MeToo movement is coming after Tony Robbins. Whether they are successful or not will be instructive, mainly because there were so many reasons to have taken Robbins down in the past, if this one is his nemesis, we now know where the power sits.

Let’s face it, the man has made an absolute fortune selling evangelical Christianity without the Christianity part. We’ve all met someone who’s got the religion at one of his $8,000 conferences and tried to make some massive change in their life… and usually failed.

He’s a snake oil salesman and has been for decades. If he was untouchable all that time but is taken down by an old video with few off-colour comments at a paid for conference, that’s very instructive.

Bill’s Opinion

It’s not clear what Robbins has done to become the next target. If you think the controversy is about the comments on the video, you’re being somewhat naive.

First they came for, ah fuck it.

Political handbrakes

Australia held a Federal election yesterday. They do this every couple of years and also change Prime Minister about halfway through each term, for reasons nobody really remembers. Perhaps this is rather like how the winter and summer Olympics are held 2 years apart to keep everyone interested?

Like many “new” countries, Australia has a written constitution. When one speaks with Australians, they claim theirs is quite analogous and heavily-based upon the USA constitution.

This claim is accurate only to the point that there are States (but also “Territories” which differ to a “State” somehow) that can write local legislation and the Federal government that can write national legislation.

The similarities come to a rather screeching halt there.

The USA Constitution is, in my opinion, one of the greatest and most beautiful pieces of written text in the history of the English language, staking the primary claim that the rights of the individual are paramount.

It’s a work of philosophy first, a declaration of nationhood second. It has stood the test of time and is still the envy of everywhere and everyone else in the world. If you are in any doubt about that, Google the statistics on where potential immigrants would prefer to relocate to and from. The jihadi supporters might shout “Death to the USA!” in the streets of Gaza but they individually change their tune the moment there’s a hint of a Green Card being granted.

Interestingly, Liberia was founded on an almost direct copy of the USA constitution, perhaps demonstrating that national, cultural and ethnic differences might be slightly more important and harder to assimilate than the cultural marxists would like to believe.

One of the wonderful consequences of the American system of maintaining separate Legislative, Judicial and Executive branches acting as checks and balances on each other is the constant drag on making radical changes to anything of importance; a “Hitlarian” populist character simply can’t enter the Whitehouse and start jailing his or her enemies. So, despite what the increasingly insane left would like to think about Trump’s motivations, he’d be hamstrung even if he was maliciously-minded.

Let’s just repeat that in another way, for the simple-minded folk who have let their hatred of Trump cloud their judgement; either Trump is Hitler/Maduro/Erdogan/Jong-Un and wants to jail dissenting voices but the system stops him, or he isn’t actually a malicious person after all.

Either way, brilliant news for Americans and the rest of the world!

If you accept that the system prevents dictatorships, consider that this is a design feature, not a bug, of the American system.

No such designed constitutional devices exist in Australia. The constitution is, in effect, the result of a few months of horse trading and pork barrelling by the rich and powerful at the turn of the last century. There’s even a clause in there explicitly allowing laws to be passed discriminating against racial groups, despite there being no legal definition of what a “race” is in English Common Law. Oh, and there’s the classic “New Zealand can become Australia if they ask nicely” clause.

Did you hear that, Jacinda? You could get those gnashers finally fixed up on Medicare. It’s a shame Uncle Helen Clark didn’t realise that, eh?

However, Australians are a canny bunch. They don’t need a high fallutin’ philosophically-based document to define their nation. They can find more practical ways to slow shit down.

This latest Federal election is a fantastic example of this phenomenon.

Spoiler alert; the incumbent party, the Liberal/National Coalition (ie a left wing party but not the extreme left wing party) won but without a workable majority. The amusing part is that the Labor Party (yes, they deliberately use the American, not Australian, spelling for some bizarre reason) were supposed to win in a landslide.

Turns out people lied to the pollsters. Now where have we seen that before?

This is now the 3rd minority Australian government since 2010 and is likely to remain so for the next three years. At which point, 8 out of 11 years will be under zombie governments.

Why has Australia suddenly started to emulate Italy?

My hypothesis is this is due to a combination of two almost uniquely Australian factors:

1. Compulsory voting. Everyone, even the completely politically disengaged, have to turn up to the local school on a Saturday and write on a form. Many people, me included, resent this forced “right” and either spoil their votes or decide to not vote for the major parties.

2. “Preferences”. If your preferred first choice doesn’t win an outright victory and has no chance of being elected, your vote is recycled to the political party your candidate has nominated. You have no say in this. Democratic?

The experienced consequence has been that the system has incentivised a proliferation of micro-sized single issue parties, usually staffed with people with zero political experience and often little useful experience of anything much at all. QV The Motoring Enthusiasts Party.

Bill’s Opinion

Great! By a complete accident, Australian has landed on a system that makes large scale radical change highly unlikely.

Given that the economy is showing signs of slowing, it’s possible that Australia might recover more quickly than if a “strong” government were in power with a sizeable majority and an instinct to meddle (politicians of all persuasions seem to have this in their DNA).

Why?

The 1920/21 Depression offers a clue.

Bill Pulver’s letter to Raelene Castle – exclusive

(from an anonymous source in the ARU)

Dear Raelene,

Kia-Sportage bro, as you and Jacinda say in the vernacular.

I hope you’re having fun in the not so new gig and the daily drive out to Olympic Park isn’t too tiresome. Strewth, it is truly a godawful place to have to work from, thank goodness the Wobblies only play there once or twice a year. I can understand why the fans prefer to stay at home and watch it on their sofas. Well, that and the fact that they can do something else with their time in the second half of the match, once the result has been decided.

Anyway, I digress.

I wanted to drop you a quick note to wish you the best of luck in the forthcoming World Cup in Japan and send my best wishes for the preparations. Hopefully Chek has got a great esprit des corps in the changing room now, with all of those unique characters working well together. I can just imagine the larrikins Quadey and Pocock must get up to, surely they will be great room mates in Tokyo.

I wanted to mention something I missed in the handover documents. In addition to the two envelopes, I thought you might want to consider some changes to the player contracts in the next round of contract extensions.

Increasingly, and as a result of our strategy to stop funding grass roots rugby and simply poach the better mungoes from Rugby League, you’ll need to have a strategy to deal with the God-botherers.

Obviously, the majority of these are Westies with apostrophes in their names, so any successful strategy is going to have to be reasonably unsubtle and articulated mainly in monosyllables. Try to pitch it at a level that an ABC for Kids viewer could comprehend.

There’s likely to a bit of a clash of cultures with that LBTQI+ptangyangkipperbang thing you and David Pocock committed the sport to in your pitch to the Board. Those happy-clappy types aren’t so keen on the shirt-lifters so you’ll need to reign them in on the old interweb thingy. Apparently, some of them have suggested that Caitlyn Jenner might not be completely female.

I know, madness, eh!

Some sort of contractual clause about not expressing religious or political views should do the trick.

The alternative is to do what the ABC do when one of their vastly more intelligent journalists tweet some extreme left wing opinion (i.e. always); state that their views outside of work are their own and they have the right to express them without any consequences to their livelihood of providing unbiased and objective reporting.

You’ll have to pick one of these approaches though otherwise you’ll be left in a terribly difficult and probably expensive no-man (or gender non-specific) land the first time one of them gets an injection of the Ol’ Time Religion one Sunday morning.

Actually, thinking about it, maybe you’ll be in such a mess if you don’t that you’d make my CEO term look halfway competent, which, let’s face it, would have been unthinkable a year or two ago.

On second thoughts, I think I won’t bother sending this letter after all.

Yours, in rugby,

Bill Pulver

Bill (Ockham’s) Opinion

It’s a funny old world when the European colonialists spend 200+ years telling Pacific Islanders, often at the end of a gun barrel, about the salvation of Jesus Christ and then sack them from their jobs for believing the message.

Imaginary Australian infrastructure

One has to feel sorry for the Australian taxpayers; they get the worst of both worlds. On the one hand they hand over one of the highest rates of income tax in the world to their governments (Federal and State), but meanwhile they get very little in return for it.

Some recent examples include:

The National Broadband Network – the federal government (of both political hues) has pissed billions into digging up the pavements and roads to install internet cables to the 97% of the population who live in metropolitan areas, rather than letting the free market do its job. The government might have saved the vast majority of the expense by focusing on the 3% of the country living away from the cities and towns. Australians have paid double and have waited twice as long as promised to receive an outcome that is, by the government’s own targets, significantly sub-standard.

The State of Victoria’s non-existent East/West road link – the commercial genius that is Premier Dan Andrews (who’s never had a proper job in his life, completely coincidentally) cancelled the construction contract the previous government had signed, costing the Victorian taxpayers $1.1bn to not receive a much-needed new road.

But, if we think these boondoggles are excessive, wait until you hear about the latest promise to piss away other people’s money…..

If Labor (sic) win next week’s election, they will spend $1bn on a high speed train line between Brisbane, Sydney and Melbourne.

Really? That seems awfully cheap for such a nation-building piece of infrastructure.

Well, if you  don’t read much further than the Sydney Morning Herald’s headline, you might think Australia is about to join the rest of the world with such convenient and efficient transport;

Labor to spend $1b on bullet train route from Melbourne to Brisbane via Sydney

Great. Finally, people will have a better option than shlecking their way to the airport which, in the case of Melbourne, involves a traffic jam of Delhi-esque proportions at most hours of the day or night.

But wait, what is it you’re getting for your $1bn (or about $100 per adult)?

Labor has promised to spend $1 billion buying land between Melbourne, Canberra, Sydney and Brisbane to build a future high-speed rail link.

Oh, right. So $1bn gets you a half a kilometre strip of farmland down the east coast and a diversion inland to Canberra. Oh what a fucking bargain.

Bill’s Opinion

Milton Friedman’s four ways to spend money is yet again proven correct. The easiest thing in the world is to spend someone else’s money on someone else; you don’t give a shit about the cost OR the quality of the outcome.

It’s shocking that, despite being populated by Union members with a barely-concealed authoritarian streak and lawyers fully-versed in the powers of the State, Labor (sic) haven’t spotted that they can simply use existing compulsory purchase legislation to grab this land once they actually have a budgeted rail development approved.

Or perhaps they already know this and simply decided that $1bn of other people’s money is a cheap price to pay for a pre-election headline stating they will build the long-awaited Australian high speed rail network.

My personal opinion is that it makes complete sense to build a high speed railway between the 4 major cities on the east coast of Australia, especially given the fact that so much of the land between these cities is undeveloped. However, experience has shown that developments of such a large scale in Australia are always utter disasters for the public purse and very rarely even deliver the promised outcome despite the tripling (if you’re lucky) of the cost.

Here’s a prediction one can confidently offer; if you’re planning on coming on holiday to Australia in the next fifty years and want to travel between Melbourne, Canberra, Sydney or Brisbane, set your expectations that you’ll be flying or driving. There’s more chance of the Wallabies winning the Bledisloe Cup in that time than ground being broken on the high speed rail link.

“Not gay” like Christopher Pyne or really not gay?

An early contender for the most overblown Twitterstorm of 2019 arrived last week when an Australian cricketer described his housemate as “boyfriend”.

Cue several thousand column inches from anyone who’s ever played sport and/or had sex with a human on how this linguistic ambiguity (and subsequent revision) tells us “where we are as a society”, or somefink similarly important to the human condition.

Former internationals Brett Lee, Shaun Tait and Isa Guha were among those to express their support for Faulkner on social media. Faulkner, however, was also criticised for making light of a serious issue in the gay community.

Quite what the “serious issue” is “in the gay community”, we’re left wondering. Does anyone really believe that, in 2019 Australia, a top level sportsperson would face any significant inhibitors to the progression of their career? 

Let me repeat that in a different way; do you think that a gay soccer player (but I repeat myself), cricketer, rugby or AFL player with the requisite talent to make it to the top level would face any relative slowing of their career?

Even a traditionally “macho” sport like Rugby Union is currently undergoing a disciplinary process against its star player that will deliberately hamstring its chances of a good World Cup performance this year….. because he posted comments on social media that were deemed offensive by homosexuals. 

If there’s a “serious issue“, we’re struggling to see it. 

Blackwell, a World Cup and World T20 winner and current Cricket NSW board member who married her wife in England in 2015, said Faulkner’s post would be in “very poor taste” if made as a “joke to deliberately mislead and make light of same-sex relationships”.

“If the post wasn’t intended as a joke I think it shows how easily a person can mislead by their comments on social media,” Blackwell said.

“The response to this perceived coming out of a male role model in sport was overwhelmingly positive.

….which seems to be a word salad that can be summarised as “I’ve no idea whether he is gay or not but you phoned me and asked for a comment because I am“. 

Bill’s Opinion

Who seriously gives a fuck about who sportsmen and women do or don’t fuck? 

You get paid to hit a small red ball with a piece of wood. And no, that isn’t a euphemism. 

Just shut up and play the dam game;

There’s a breathless hush in the Close to-night—
Ten to make and the match to win—
A bumping pitch and a blinding light,
An hour to play and the last man in.
And it’s not for the sake of a ribboned coat,
Or the selfish hope of a season’s fame,
But his captain’s hand on his shoulder smote
‘Play up! play up! and play the game! ‘

 

Pay the jizya for your dhimmi, Australians

On Thursday, two members of the NSW Civil and Administrative Tribunal (NCAT) found the checkered headscarves used during the exercise were not necessary and would have been recognised by members of the public as keffiyehs, used by Palestinian and Arab communities.

During the exercise, the pretend offenders pointed their index fingers in the air.

The use of the headscarves had the capacity to encourage members of the public to believe that “Palestinians and/or Arabs were to be feared, despised, hated, and/or held in serious contempt as possibly or probably being terrorists“, especially given that it was NSW Police who used them, NCAT found.

Is a headscarf really likely to have that effect?

One of the officers was wearing a skeleton face mask. Do we expect Halloween celebrations to be subdued this year as people shy away in fear from skeleton images after this police exercise?

Unlikely.

But wait, go back and have another look at the screen grab image from the Sydney Morning Herald….

What’s the news item 2 down from the one about the gelding of the police?

Oh, just an Islamist stabbing a passerby. Nothing to see here.

To be balanced, the alleged attacker wasn’t Arabic or from Palestine, he was from Pakistan.

He knew enough Arabic to shout it at random strangers in the street in the months preceding the attack though (note to police; this is what might be called a “lead indicator“. You’re welcome):

And that Parramatta shooting he was so inspired by, what was that all about, who committed that act of terrorism?

A Kurdish Iranian. Let’s keep that balance; neither Kurdish or Persian Iranians are classed as Arabic.

Neither was the perpetrator of the Lindt Café shooting Arabic.

He didn’t have a skeleton face mask either.

These mentally-ill religiously evil idiots do have one common factor though, don’t they? One that Arabs and Palestinians also share. Perhaps it’s asking too much of Australian police to really analyse the cultural wardrobe distinctions between various ethnic groups in the Islamic diaspora when planning a terrorism response training exercise.

After all, it’s not the hurt feelings of those who share the religion of the perpetrators they are training to protect, but the lives of those targeted by the terrorists.

So, precisely how many people actually complained about this police exercise designed to keep us all safe?

Oh, just the one.

The racial vilification complaint was made by Sam Ekermawi, who identified himself as an Australian ethnic Muslim of a Palestinian national origin.

Is he a sensitive soul who is easily offended or is he perhaps trying to modify the definitions of what can or can’t be said or worn in public in a (previously) free country?

Well, he does have “previous” (in the police vernacular) against which we can judge this complaint:

He previously filed a racial vilification complaint against the Today show following comments from Sonia Kruger that she would like to see the immigration of Muslims to Australia “stopped now”. That complaint was dismissed in February.

Bill’s Opinion

This is surely a form of Stockholm Syndrome.

The police governing body, NCAT, has made the conscious decision to sympathise and prioritise the feelings of one man from a protected class over the operational duties of the police.

Someone might want to point out to the Australian police that they have a live hostage emergency incident to deal with; Sam Ekermaw has captured several national institutions and is forcing them to comply with his religious demands on the basis that the general public shouldn’t be afraid of people wearing keffiyehs.

Sure:

A voter exercises his democratic right

…to treat politicians with the utter contempt they deserve.

The problem with legally-compelled voting is the elected politicians can convince themselves they have a mandate.

The additional major problem with the Australian version of compelled voting is that one needs a PhD in Confusopoly to comprehend it. Frankly, you stand more chance of accurately comparing a Telstra mobile phone “dollar” with the Optus version than navigate this form;

(Excuse my handwriting; I am a medical doctor).

Here’s a scanned version for clarity, in case you are voting in New South Wales and wish to become more acquainted with the various policies on offer;

Bill’s Opinion

Changing government every 3 years and Prime Minister (by bloodless coup) every 18 months whilst fining those who choose not to engage in the voting process is not democracy.

Convince me otherwise and maybe you’ll get my vote next time…… Be ready to demonstrate that you’ve achieved something in the real world other than organising a union or working for a law firm, you useless and entitled twats.

When the left eat their own, buy popcorn

Most of what passes for politics in Australia is an utter snorefest, for a few reasons, not least is the very small pool of talent that thinks to itself, “hmm, what my life needs is the public scrutiny of national politics“. Other countries with larger populations enjoy the availability of more intelligent and capable politicians such as, erm, Bernie Sanders and Jeremy Corbyn,

The only really interesting moments in Aussie politics are when the tribes find themselves in internecine conflict. The source of such amusement is often a rude interruption of reality at the intersection of two deeply-held positions that are logically inconsistent.

One current example is the case of the proposed Carmichael coal mine, sometimes referred to by its owner, the Adani Group.

Those on the left are faced with a navigational conundrum; find a safe passage between jobs for their blue collar “base” and the all-powerful global religion of climate change.

The tofu-eating effeminates in the gentrified areas of Australia’s cities will be forced to virtue signal by voting Green if Labor show too much support for the mine while the burger-eating bogans in the rural areas set to benefit most from the new jobs will vote for any number of other parties if the support isn’t sincere enough.

The blogger and journalist, Tim Blair, summarises the leader of the opposition’s amusing bind and hilarious procrastination here. Bodes well for a decisive future Prime Minister, doesn’t it?

But then, we shouldn’t be surprised as he has a public track record of avoiding taking a position on anything as this bizarre exchange from a few years ago illustrates:

One of the most powerful forces on the side of the pro-Adani lobby is the unlikely-looking union bully, Sally McManus, a woman who never knowingly let her face register pleasure or delight:

One suspects the word “compromise” is not highlighted in her dictionary. “Frivolity” and “joviality“, also.

Bill is going to be providing those of us with a desire to see the world burn with huge amusement over the next few weeks.

Bill’s Opinion

As people as diverse as Scott Adams and Bill Gates are loudly pointing out, we have a solution to climate change already.

It doesn’t even matter whether you believe climate change is a problem either; there’s enough people in the world who do and are prepared to cripple the economy to combat it. We need to find a way to satisfy their desires whilst not killing the capitalism golden goose responsible for the modern miracles we’ve had in the last two centuries.

The answer is Generation IV nuclear energy.

Great news for Australians; you’ve got domestic deposits of uranium so could be completely self-sufficient in producing all the dirt cheap domestic energetic you’ll ever need.

Bad news for Australians; the only politician talking about it is Clive Palmer, guaranteeing it will remain outside of the mainstream political discussion for the foreseeable future.

Hey BBC, we’re not on the Julian Calendar either

We can all thank the British taxpayers for funding both the Meteorology Office that wrote this press release and the BBC that published it without engaging their brain (or perhaps they were knowingly participating in obfuscation):

It shouldn’t need to be pointed out, but it seems we must;

According to the Metonic cycle, the Paschal Full Moon falls on a recurring sequence of 19 dates ranging from March 21 to April 18. Since Easter happens on the Sunday following the Paschal Full Moon, it can fall on any date between March 22 and April 25 (years 1753-2400).

Therefore, Easter Monday this year is only 2 days earlier than the latest possible date it could be. In the northern hemisphere, this means it’s up to four weeks closer to summer than many of the previous occurrences.

Presumably there are other news articles hiding from a Google search bemoaning the record cold in the Southern Hemisphere this Easter Monday?

Bill’s Opinion

These people are either fools or knaves.

As Carl Benjamin pointed out at his hilarious press conference last week, the BBC has a one star rating for trust on the TrustPilot review site. One can’t think why.