Everybody was Kung Flu fighting

99% of everything written about Covid19 seems to be uninformed speculation at best and more likely, just made up bullshit.

So, just for a bit of light relief, here’s some random thoughts on the subject:

  1. If your first action after thinking, “hmm, it might be time to stockpile”, is to panic buy toilet paper, you might have misunderstood the relative use of fluffy white arse paper in a national emergency, compared to say, dried beans or medicine.
  2. Related; people are about to learn how good modern supply chains are. They are akin to modern witchcraft. As fast as you can fill your spare bedroom with bog roll, Coles and Woolworths will restock the shelves. The supply chain for nearly everything you are going to need has not yet been materially disrupted. Sure, we might run out of some items but there will be plenty of adjacent replacement versions for a long time yet. Well done for helping an Account Sales Manager make their Q2 2020 numbers early though.
  3. Most business travel is frivolous and businesses can manage just fine without it. Seriously, nearly all of it is just status-driven bollocks that a phone or video call could replace and still achieve an adequate outcome. If you’re really contrarian, now might be the best time to book a luxury holiday in Asia this December. Rajasthan is lovely that time of year.
  4. The IT department have been lying like a cheap Chinese Rolex about their capacity to simultaneously support lots of remote workers (*waves at Wokepac). Some scrambling to buy more licences might save a few IT Infrastructure Managers’ careers but most of the bottleneck will be in physical infrastructure. Best get those CVs tidied up and in the market, chaps, and beat the rush.
  5. No Australian manager under the age of 55 knows what to do with their P&L in a downturn. Not. A. Single. One. A bit of a clue; cancelling the magazine subscriptions and daily flowers in reception or calling the landlord and asking for a discount on the office rent isn’t going to help you.
  6. Consider the possibility it might be better to catch it early; you’ll get the best medical care and then it’s done. Later means you’ll get the mass-treatment quality, if any treatment at all.
  7. Stay clear of French people (a great excuse in case they win the Six Nations).

Bill’s Opinion

Isn’t it absolutely wonderful the Woketivists have been shunted off the news now we’ve got something requiring adult attention?

8 Replies to “Everybody was Kung Flu fighting”

  1. You have some good contacts at Wokepac obviously. Can’t recall the event but we had exactly that problem a few years ago. The staff that could work from home overloaded the system in a few minutes. Productivity probably went up that day.

    We have had some importers run out of stuff to sell, and a couple quite totally. Biggest issue are simple delays, but it will probably help Myer and Harvey Norman offload some 2009 vintage inventory that has been lying in a storeroom somewhere. Australia hasn’t looked so good for ten years!

    1. “You have some good contacts at Wokepac obviously.”

      Yep, I know who buried those bodies and I’m curious as to how long it will take for the shallow graves to be unearthed.

  2. So they’re saying that COVID-19 will kill 2% of the world’s population. I’ll read my copy of the Hitchhiker’s Guide again and wake me up when it’s all over.

  3. As Boysie Oakes might have said, the flu goes round and round, oh oh way way way, oh, and it comes out here.

  4. Great article, made me laugh. I always think Australians are sensible compared to foreigners wherever I go, but really, we’re pretty silly. It’s like the trendy heath food crazes we regularly have, or those magical wristbands.

    Capitalism will shine. Boris Yeltsin was converted from communism by visiting an ordinary supermarket in Texas. Prices can do what departments full of brilliant bureaucrats can not.

    Here in the Philippines they don’t always use toilet paper anyway. They have a thing called a tabo for pouring water, then use soap and towel off. No paper required. They’re laughing that Aussies think they will die without toilet paper. We are an odd bunch.

    1. “Capitalism will shine. “

      My local petrol station has a massive igloo of toilet rolls on sale outside today.

      It’s almost as if, I dunno, it was a stupid panic.

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