It’s all about me

Jessica (big) “smarty pants” Irvine was allowed another vanity column again this week:

I’ve lost loads of weight because I’m more intelligent than you“.

This continues along the same boastful theme she lectured us with 18 months ago, wherein she helpfully explained how, if you eat fewer calories than you expend in exercise, there’s a good chance you might lose weight over time.

Quite why it took most of her adult life to learn something most people have worked out by the time they’ve reached puberty, she doesn’t explain.

The entire column is barely more than a lengthy Facebook post that most people unfortunate to be connected to her would either skip past or consider justification for muting further updates from her.

That the editorial team at the Sydney Morning Herald let this get as far as publication speaks volumes for the rate of decline of the masthead.

There’s not much else to be said about this utter vanity effort except perhaps a data point for Jessica (well, she claims to be good with numbers) in response to her featured Instagram post:

A six hour marathon?

That’s the cut-off limit of that race.

Bill’s Opinion

Actually, the official results show Jess “ran” the race in 6 hours and 9 minutes.

So they were clearly packing everything up and heading home when she crossed the finish line.

There were only 39 people behind her. Her finish time is on the last page of those who completed the course.

Perhaps Jess’ New Year’s resolution for 2020 should involve developing some level of self-awareness and undertaking a little more introspection.

As for the Sydney Morning Herald editorial team, it might be worth going on to Google Maps and plotting a scenic route to your nearest Centrelink office for later in the year. If you get in the habit of collecting your dole money by foot, you too can become as fit and healthy as Jess Irvine.

13 Replies to “It’s all about me”

  1. The calories in calories out theory when it comes to an individuals metabolism of nutrients is not an accurate analysis in my view.

    Its okay as a measure of the amount of energy produced by a substance when fully combusted, but different calories (food types) behave differently when digested as opposed to being combusted to ash in a laboratory setting.

    Not being the type of person that has the discipline to go to the gym or similar, or stick to my 20 minute a week slow burn anaerobic exercise routine (which is excellent) and being diagnosed as diabetic 15 year ago, I have a newfound technique that is surprisingly easier than it sounds.

    Prolonged fasting for anything between 3 days and 12 days is something that I have started doing late last year with very good results. Weight falls off, blood sugar levels good, blood pressure okay and positive feeling overall. Sounds radical I know but it is far easier than it sounds, just dont tell anyone that you are doing it. I still have coffee with cream when fasting so its not 100% no nutrition but it works for me. Boiled water is also very good for cleansing the systems when fasting, you will also need electrolytes if you go over three days, I use a low carb electrolyte.

    1. My personal regime involves moderation in all food groups unless I’m training for something in particular, in which case it’s “protein for grow, carbs for go”.

      I’ve been the same jean size since the age of 18, so I assume it’s working.

  2. Just by clicking through that link to Jess’ article I fear I have extended the life of the legacy press by an extra microsecond, as they sold my click through to some desperate advertiser. Perhaps I will leave my curiosity unsatisfied in future. I am happy I have got to the point where I don’t bother with the mainstream media much outside of work. Twitter (or other feeds) keeps me informed of much that goes on, in satisfyingly small amounts that don’t allow the self-indulgence offered by Ms Irvine.

    Clearly we have solved all the big economic problems of today if the SMH’s millennial eco writer can post pictures lifting weights and posing on the opera house steps. I am sure it took some post grad study to work through that pile of empirical data, assemble it into meaningful analysis and present a coherent argument for the edification of her reader(s) and betterment of society.

    Too hard so early in the year? Just post a long form ‘gram and get back to the gym!

    Given the stats available to editors and journalists now on reader preferences, if we see more of this sort of ‘reporting’ from Jessica, then we can draw some inferences on the audience the SMH now has. Not so much leading public opinion, as following the clicks.

    Bardon – I have a few friends who go for the fasting stuff, to good effect, but they are all a bit crazy to be honest. I get it, but aside from making a night out cheaper on both food and alcohol, I find it incompatible with any sort of exercise regime. I am not fully in touch with the stuff that Michael Mosley talks about re turning genes on or off, but it does appear to be the ultimate way to create a calorie deficit? Anyway, if it works for you, then all good.

    1. “but they are all a bit crazy to be honest. I get it, but aside from making a night out cheaper on both food and alcohol”

      That’s why I tend not to tell anyone that I am fasting or discuss it when out socially. Plus I am off the booze nowadays as well so I would come across as a real fruitcake if I did bang on about it.

      1. Probably a good choice on several fronts there Bardon. My favourite friend is the one who fasts for 48 hours or so about once a fortnight, then breaks it at the pub. Makes for a short session – he is done 3 pints in.

        On the plus side, he has lost about 24 kilos in the last two years. Unfortunately it is the same 8 kilos three times – he typically puts it all back on again.

  3. By the way, spent most of the day messing around on wordpress etc setting up a site for this yacht restoration. Some issues that I hope to resolve but I am learning a bit. WP does make it easy, but I managed to make some things difficult. Still on a temp URL, which is the most irritating issue right now.

    Moved it into a boatbuilders shed in mid Dec, so all systems go from late Jan. Will start talking to a family lawyer by Easter.

    1. Try Super Domains Australia; they have a full service option.

      When you’re doing the bulkheads, go to YouTube and look at the “tick stick” method for creating the correct curve.

  4. Despite finishing after the cutoff she still got her Participant’s Award. In Murrica this is called Stolen Valor.

  5. So the economics correspondent tells us how to diet. As a chemistry graduate, maybe I could write their next theatre review?

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