Jessica (big) “smarty pants” Irvine was allowed another vanity column again this week:
This continues along the same boastful theme she lectured us with 18 months ago, wherein she helpfully explained how, if you eat fewer calories than you expend in exercise, there’s a good chance you might lose weight over time.
Quite why it took most of her adult life to learn something most people have worked out by the time they’ve reached puberty, she doesn’t explain.
The entire column is barely more than a lengthy Facebook post that most people unfortunate to be connected to her would either skip past or consider justification for muting further updates from her.
That the editorial team at the Sydney Morning Herald let this get as far as publication speaks volumes for the rate of decline of the masthead.
There’s not much else to be said about this utter vanity effort except perhaps a data point for Jessica (well, she claims to be good with numbers) in response to her featured Instagram post:
A six hour marathon?
That’s the cut-off limit of that race.
Actually, the official results show Jess “ran” the race in 6 hours and 9 minutes.
So they were clearly packing everything up and heading home when she crossed the finish line.
There were only 39 people behind her. Her finish time is on the last page of those who completed the course.
Perhaps Jess’ New Year’s resolution for 2020 should involve developing some level of self-awareness and undertaking a little more introspection.
As for the Sydney Morning Herald editorial team, it might be worth going on to Google Maps and plotting a scenic route to your nearest Centrelink office for later in the year. If you get in the habit of collecting your dole money by foot, you too can become as fit and healthy as Jess Irvine.