Good friend of this organ, Brian Hartzer, CEO of Wokepac, hasn’t had the greatest of weeks.
It turns out that, while he was spending much of his working life making diversity hires, virtue signalling with drag queens and using shareholder value to project pretty coloured lights on the HQ for whatever victimhood day it happens to be, he took his eye off the less important part of his job description; running a bank.
Don’t worry, nothing bad happened, just a few illegal international money transfers in breach of the anti-laundering laws.
How many, you ask?
Oh, just 23 million.
Any issue in that number? Oh, only a load of payments likely used to facilitate sexual abuse of children in third world countries.
Nothing to see here then.
What’s really interesting though is how quickly Brian managed to recruit Prince Andrew’s PR manager.
Well, one assumes that’s what’s happened, otherwise how else can the press release be explained?
If facilitating extensive sexual abuse of children through professional incompetence isn’t a firing matter, I’m struggling to work out what is.
The most likely explanation is that the bank needs a little time to sort out the work visa for Brian’s replacement.
We can exclusively confirm that this will be none other than Prince Andrew who has fortunately suddenly become available for new work.