It’s not often I quote the bible on here, particularly as I’m not a believer, but this just seems too appropriate not to:
And the LORD said, Behold, the people is one, and they have all one language; and this they begin to do: and now nothing will be restrained from them, which they have imagined to do.
Go to, let us go down, and there confound their language, that they may not understand one another’s speech.
So the LORD scattered them abroad from thence upon the face of all the earth: and they left off to build the city.
Consider this headline:
At first blush, one might be wondering whether there’s been some sort of breakthrough at a genetic level that enables conception without sperm.
But then, bear in mind the advice we gave on how to get to the truth of these mendacious transgender journalistic attempts at confusion; look at the picture.
If, instinctively, you thought “Christ, the woman in red looks really unshaggable and pathetic but, fuck me, the one holding the bottle looks like she fell out of the Ugly Tree and hit every branch face-first on the way down“, you’d be right. It’s a man.
Let’s fisk the various and several language-mangling crimes the ABC’s David Sciasci commits, shall we?
Rebecca and Isabelle Sutherland have known each other since they were children.
The couple, now in their late 20s, married and experienced the wonder of being new parents to their four-month-old son, Bailey.
Now would be a good time to tell us how two women conceived a baby, given the headline suggested it’s a medical breakthrough.
Isabelle had been increasingly troubled by information she was reluctant to share with her partner, causing Rebecca to fear the worst.
“I was worried because it was not long after we got engaged,” Rebecca said.
She was convinced Isabelle was having second thoughts about their engagement. She guessed her fiance could be about to leave her for someone else.
“I just cornered her on the couch and was like, ‘You’re going to tell me whatever’s going on’,” Rebecca said.
Isabelle explained: “We just kind of broke down and I said, ‘Look, I’m trans,’ and Bec said, ‘Oh, is that all?'”
Oh, ok. So Isabelle is a woman now but was a bloke and therefore baby Bailey was conceived via her female penis?
As you were, medical students; it’s the miracle of life but not a significant moment in scientific history.
There’s a punchline though:
Rebecca said her fiance’s revelation prompted her to make her own. “Oh, I guess I have to tell her I’m bi now. I was keeping it a secret.”
Of course, the previous definition of bi (as in “bisexual”) was that a person found people of either gender sexually-attractive.
Rebecca’s new proposed definition seems to be, “I find men attractive, even the one sitting next to me, wearing my Mum’s dress”. The article is silent on whether or not she finds women with vaginas sexually attractive or not.
Let’s learn about the process to make a baby in 2019, shall we?
“We were never quite sure if we were going to try for a child before I started medically transitioning, or use in vitro fertilisation after the fact,” Isabelle said.
She began freezing her sperm in case she went ahead with a gender transition.
“Ultimately, we decided, ‘You know what, we’ll just give it a try for a couple of months to see how it goes before I start hormones. Maybe something will happen, maybe it won’t, we’ll play it by ear’,” Isabelle said.
Rebecca was pregnant two weeks later.
Man and woman have sex. They fall pregnant. It’s a miracle!
The rest of the article goes on to describe, with a few complications, a process everyone on the planet has been through already. There is this unintentionally-hilarious quote though (emphasis mine):
The Sutherlands said there were times during the pregnancy, before they changed hospitals, when some medical staff seemed judgmental and “hung up” on Bailey having two biological mothers.
I think we can read between the lines that the two “mothers” met someone who didn’t go along with their demand to pander to their shared mental illness.
Finally, here’s a lie for our age:
They say the most common question they are asked is: “Who’s mum?” They answer: both of them.
Anyone who has ever met adult humans before and takes one look at the pair of them knows which one gave birth.
I’m willing to bet there are more people alive who have set foot on the surface of planet Mars than have ever been genuinely unsure which of this pair physically gave birth to Bailey.
Rebecca, who is writing a memoir, hopes telling her family’s story will help transgender parents be accepted and better understood, to the point where, one day, “no one bats an eyelid”.
Sorry Rebecca, it doesn’t matter how much you or anyone else force other people to pretend, “Isabelle” is always going to have facial features defined by the rather inconvenient biological fact that he is a man.
Granted, a man suffering what was previously defined under DSM5 as a mental illness, but still and always a man.