Tastes like chicken

The scolds amongst us claim you can’t laugh at some subjects, and that comedy about certain topics is beyond the pale.

Perhaps, though, they mean one shouldn’t laugh….

Oh, hello;

This is a tragedy for humanity; unfortunately, David had already contributed to the gene pool, so does not qualify for a Darwin Award.

More than six months on, his family are still searching for answers after hearing conflicting accounts from those who were at the party and going without details from the coroner.

“Searching for answers”.

It’s a harsh message to hear that your loved one got drunk, ate a gecko, contracted “food” poisoning and died but it’s hardly the fucking Da Vinci Code, is it?

Beside the Logan River where he liked to go fishing, they placed paper boats in the water with messages they never got to tell him.

Presumably “don’t eat a gecko” was a common theme.

Dr Turner said a wide range of warm- and cold-blooded animals carried salmonella, including turtles, snakes, frogs and geckos, which have the bacteria in their gut.

….“It just goes to show that things as innocent as geckos can carry disease bacteria.”

Won’t someone think about the innocent geckos? Well, one innocent gecko in particular…

Bill’s Opinion

Take it away Gordon;

19 Replies to “Tastes like chicken”

  1. That gecko is guilty of manslaughter. It’s family and all it’s relatives should be found and removed from the vicinity of stupid humans where they can’t do further damage to the survival of the most advanced organism on the planet.

    1. I have a great gecko risotto recipe, if you’re interested.

      What you don’t use can go into a gecko vindaloo the next day.

      1. On a brighter note, my wife’s cat (I refuse to acknowledge ownership) regularly eats geckos. There is hope for a happy house after all.

        It seems to be a quicker death than FIV appears to be.

        1. Can of tuna, half a bottle of Brasso poured on it.

          Sorted the neighbour’s cat who used to dig up my garden.

    1. Good grief. Stupid idiot, everyone knows slugs are like oysters and shouldn’t be eaten raw in the northern hemisphere in months without an “r” (reverse that rule in the south).

  2. “Beside the Logan River where he liked to go fishing,”

    The legendary Logan River, whose springs are the undisputed origin of the Bogan species.

    1. Steak Tartare, Hector. Steak Tartare.

      Although I had it in Paris once and now know the location of every public convenience on the wall between the Louvre and the Musée d’Orsay.

      1. Steak tartare, sure, but we’ve been dealing with that for decades, and know how to do it. The meat has to be carefully prepared and handled.

        But generally you don’t eat raw meat. You wouldn’t eat a raw chicken thigh for a bet, would you?

        (Raw meat inside a burger or roast beef is okay because for that sort meat most of the bacteria and other nasty stuff is on the surface, so it gets killed.)

        1. “You wouldn’t eat a raw chicken thigh for a bet, would you?”

          Depends entirely on what you’re prepared to put up as the stakes…..

    1. There’s a great graph somewhere on the internet showing the breakdown of admissions by age to the ER Ward for hand injuries sustained by punching walls.

      If you are male and can survive to about 35 you’ll probably be ok.

      1. Classic! (Can imagine the graph)

        We get to see some really good stuff here at the pub.
        Real Darwin award grade wall-punching.

        A few of the more memorable efforts wouldn’t have been able to wank for close to a year (holding a pencil would be an activity they don’t engage in).

          1. Thank you.
            I notice they’ve deliberately omitted from the data anybody who punched a wall of brick or concrete.

            …for the mistaken reason that people who punched those were smart enough to know they weren’t punching a plaster or veneer wall.
            My extensive vicarious experience of wall punching says their premise (that people who punch walls are that smart) is a false premise.

          2. The histogram is the best part of that article. Male testosterone levels on a bell curve, basically.

            There’s a couple of retirees who need to have a chat with themselves about anger issues, though….

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