Grandad, what did you do in the Culture War?

I took the battle back to them, laddie. They don’t like it up ’em.

What follows is meant as “open source” for people to tweak as they see fit. Find out what works for you and let people know the versions that are successful.

Also, it’s not a completely original thought; it was inspired by a line in a TV show I watched recently (Bodyguard on Netflix).

Part of my current working week involves a status discussion with a representative from an adjacent department. The particular representative is a young (just turned 30) female.

Some background colour I’ve learned about this individual; she’s a divorced single mother of two children, she’s vehemently anti-Trump (but, when asked which of his policies were offensive, struggled to name one), and she’s morbidly obese.

During our previous 2 meetings she has offered the opinion that I am a privileged, old, white, heterosexual, male. For reasons of courtesy, I’ve ignored these statements as they were irrelevant to the facts and purpose of our meeting.

It’s tempting to drop down a rabbit hole and try to become amateur psychologists based on those sparse facts, but we won’t.

Instead, here’s a summary of how I shut this annoyance down during our third meeting;

Angry Overweight Single Woman: “Blah blah blah, financial reporting, blah blah blah, programme governance, blah blah blah, you’re a privileged, old, white, heterosexual, man“.

William of Ockham: “Excuse me, but did you just assume my ethnicity and gender? Do you not realise I am mixed race and identify as non-binary?”.

Angry Overweight Single Woman: (silence for a full minute while she stared at me, blinking frequently, then changed the subject and never mentioned it since).

Throughout this interaction I maintained an impassive poker face, giving as few visual clues as possible to indicate what I was saying might not be completely grounded in fact.

I have not subsequently told her it was a joke, untrue, or a social experiment, etc. I have no plans to do so either; my statement will not be reversed.

Amusingly, if I get a call from the HR Director, I could bring my ancestry.com DNA result that shows I’m only 27% ethnically British. The question they would then need to grapple with is, how do you define race? Good luck with that one.

It would also be interesting to learn how they would prove or disprove my claim of identifying as gender non-binary. Is there an objective test we can apply?

Bill’s Opinion

If the cultural Marxism disease has overtaken your employer, this passive aggressive approach, or a variation of it, might be a useful strategy to begin the process of remediation. It’s turning their own weapons of sentimentality for diversity back on them to demonstrate that the opposite outcome is being achieved; you can’t be truly inclusive if you are prepared to exclude and demonise an entire group of individuals based on immutable characteristics such as age, genital configuration, melanin levels and sexual orientation.

If you are prepared to take this step with me, there are several important points that you will need to commit to and practice;

– Poker face. This is a potentially serious step you are about to take with career-damaging implications if you get it wrong. Do not smirk or offer any visual or verbal clues that you are being in anyway insincere.

– Don’t back down. Saying, “Sorry, it was just a joke” is not going to end well for you. I repeat, saying sorry is going to result in very negative outcomes for you. There are enough examples of apologies only serving to embolden the cultural Marxists.

– Believe what you are saying. Everybody on planet Earth is mixed race, especially given there is no scientific definition of race, only generalisations based on bell curves of statistical distribution. As for the gender claim; remember that they believe there are far more than two genders, so you will need to see their definitions of each before you can, in good faith, confirm which one most closely matches the version you identify with this week.

Hopefully this helps you on your journey through the institutional insanity that is modern corporate life. Please do share this advice and report back in the comments how it went for you and any lessons from which we can all learn.

20 Replies to “Grandad, what did you do in the Culture War?”

  1. Sounds utterly brilliant. I was already thinking that making the initial claim would not even be lying. There are no pure races, and I don’t identify as binary because I never think in such daft jargon-ridden categories. But you beat me to it!

    So I’m signed up. Consider me to be a bit like a volunteer in the “Dad’s Army” British TV sitcom, though. I’m retired since I decided to bail out from the nonsense-fest that is corporate life. I’ve already got my bayonet fixed, but I might not have any face-to-face contact with the enemy for some time.

  2. Two things:

    You’re going to have to keep this charade up for ever.

    Aren’t we just validating their nonsense by playing along with it?

    Besides that, bravo. And I’d love to hear the conversation in her head.

    1. “You’re going to have to keep this charade up for ever. “

      I’m only in the job for 6 months and, anyway, I doubt she’ll ever mention it again.

      But, if she does, what exactly is involved in me keeping the pretence up? I can’t think of anything. It’s not like I’ve told her to refer to me using made up pronouns.

  3. Thankfully my firm dont do pc and we just stick to the old fashioned and boring business objective of trying to squeeze as much cash as we legally out of our clients for the minimum operating cost so that we can keep most of it for ourselves I am truly thankful for this fortunate position that I find myself in.

    If there is any suggestion of pc talk at work, ie when someone looks at me funny after I have just unnecessarily offended every single minority for a laugh whether it be in my firm or another firm I always counter it with that I am the last of the dinosaurs and I don’t even know how to do emojis.

    With my kids I teach them the same. My youngest is a bit of a fashionista, well somewhat so, he keeps some but he flips high priced clothes for a tax free gain. A couple of weeks ago I was taking him and his friends to the new $800 for a tee shirt store that was opening up. I had previously agreed that I was going to sub him $50 and as we got near the store he asked if I was going to pull up at an ATM to get the folding stuff out, I said no, he looked concerned. When we pulled up outside the store I pulled out a large wad of 50’s form my wallet, tore one off and gave it to him saying that I was the biggest nigger in Bulimba, they all pissed themselves laughing.

    1. “Thankfully my firm dont do pc and we just stick to the old fashioned and boring business objective of trying to squeeze as much cash as we legally out of our client”

      Brian Hartzer might learn a lesson there, rather than mincing around at LGBTQIP’tangYangKipperbang events.

  4. And another one bites the dust.

    Australia’s Wonder Woman announces her retirement

    SUE MURPHY: MEET AUSTRALIA’S WATER WONDER WOMAN
           
    Water Corporation is not only financially strong, it is creating a diversified and robust water supply to lead into the future. Approaching 10 years at the helm as CEO, Sue Murphy speaks to Tom Freyberg about gender equality, water reuse and what she means by the “one bum to kick” model.
     
    ……………………………………….
     
    One bum to kick model alright, she certainly kicked some ass throughout her career and is the only lady, so far, that has kicked mine in the construction sector. If only they could see that gender equality should be based on merit and not statistical expectations, or maybe that is what Sue has just demonstrated, to other ambitious young female, would-be engineers?
     
    https://www.waterworld.com/articles/wwi/print/volume-33/issue-3/headline/leader-focus/sue-murphy-meet-australia-s-water-wonder-woman.html

    1. “But white people are oppressors.”

      Thank goodness I’m not one of them any more!

      Another useful tactic is to refer them to the 1949 Geneva Convention, Article 33 which classes collective punishments as a war crime.

    1. “It’s white, christian, hetrosexual males that are the enemy. “

      Exactly.

      All we need to do now is define;
      White – If race is a social construct, that’s a bit “problematic”
      Christian – All versions and schisms? Islam believes Christ was a prophet, for example.
      Heterosexual – Again, if sexuality is a spectrum, that’s a little “problematic”.

      But yes, as Mr Drummond points out, logical inconsistencies are to be ignored.

      1. All we got to do now is realise that our opponents don’t care about logical inconsistencies, that they are winning this war and also that you and I and our kind are on the losing side. There’s not much point in questioning the logic of the oppressors mercenaries, ethnicity, race, gender, sexuality, religion, politics that is wearing the jackboot that is crushing your head to the ground or if you are lucky enough the driver of the SS Uber truck that is transporting you off to the culture gulags in the western suburbs.

        Defining things properly and consistently and finding reason can be done much later on if we get to survive the Gulag. If not then by your sons, or their sons when they at long last have the opportunity to write about the answer to their grandpa’s questions that he posed just before we lost the Great Culture War.

          1. Yeah I know pretty sad thing for me to say. If it helps any to establish my stance, I wouldn’t sign up or allow my sons to sign up to the Australian military forces either.

            I can sit back in my safe european home knowing that I have done my bit for the cause by refusing to do pc, shouting hatred at and unnecessarily mocking all minorities pitiful plight and telling everyone that will listen what is going on.

            But at the end of the day and unless you or someone else steps up to organise the resistance and convinces me that they have a winning strategy, I ain’t fighting, because I only fight when I know that I will win. Plus I have a decoy that you dont, I got cappucino kids that know where their bread is buttered.

            If you are lucky enough you will get to see them on the other side.

            “Victorious warriors win first and then go to war, while defeated warriors go to war first and then seek to win”
            ― Sun Tzu, The Art of War

          2. “Plus I have a decoy that you dont, I got cappucino kids”.

            Gosh, how exotic. Bravo.

            How do you know the skin colour of my kids?

  5. On the topic of unconditional surrender, if you had your clock set properly on Gods time, one of my posts would have been posted at 11.11am today.

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